at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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