She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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