i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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