saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
