she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
