like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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