Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
