this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
well you can't waste a boner
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
