what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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