no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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