I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
