I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize