i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want her autograph on my taint
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
