Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
