the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.