She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
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Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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