totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
