Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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