If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
