I wannas sexs uuuuu
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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