im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You pole danced in your parka.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
