Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
