that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
