What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
