I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
did i just pee glitter
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
