the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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