Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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