She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
