i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
