it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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