OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
