have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
