Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
