Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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