the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
