I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
