It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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