Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
