so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
