Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
