Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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