I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
