haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
