I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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