So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
