is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
