he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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