Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize