she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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