yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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