Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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