There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
