i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she woke up with a sticky ear
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
