We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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