he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
