my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
