I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
