Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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