Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
