If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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