I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
