I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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